Tag Archives: Christianity

The Sexualtiy Box……

I recently heard of a 14 year old girl that “came out” to her mother as  pan-sexual.  How does a 14 year old know more about being pan-sexual than most adults? And where did she learn that from? What is she learning in the school? And why has our society become so sex obsessed? What is pan-sexual?  And why doesn’t the definition make any sense?   School is for learning and preparation for the future. Why aren’t more American kids coming out of school prepared? They can tell you everything about sex but can’t  spell a simple word, don’t know geography, and don’t let me get started on math.  I’m not saying this is true of all American students but its true for quite a bit. Why should kids be educated on sexuality when most can’t spell the word or understand the meaning? Childhood is fleeting. You have your whole life to worry about sex, and sexuality why put yourself in a box at such a young age? I feel sorry towards the generations coming after me; they are truly in trouble if their concern is sex and gender based.

On a very basic biological level scientists use our DNA to identify us. And what can DNA tell us? It can tell us whether the individual is male or female, xx or xy. DNA can tell us about hair color, eye color, diseases and a few other very basic things.

DNA is the most scientific way to identify a person. It doesn’t tell you much, but it tells you about the biological make up of a person. And from DNA we learn that a person on a biological level can only be male or female.  If biologically a person can only be male or female then why are some people determined to undermine science and nature to   create new genders?   Why does Facebook now have 51 different genders? In the beginning God created man and woman. Biologically and  scientifically there is only  male and female.  Gender does not only encompass one’s feelings about their gender but it encompasses the physical attributes as well. For example, when a baby is born they tell you “Congratulations it’s a boy by looking between the baby’s legs and seeing the penis, or if they see a vagina they say “it’s a girl,” should we wait to differentiate the sex of babies until they can tell us how they feel?    At the end of the day if you left behind DNA the only thing one  could tell about your identity as far as sex, is whether you are a male or female. That is the truth and that is reality.

But the point of  this blog is not to argue about being male or female. It’s to tell people that your sexuality, sexual identity and sexual preference do not define who you are.  You are more than who you’re attracted to, and  you are more than what you choose to do with your genitals. Why put yourself in a box?  Being pan-sexual, transsexual, homosexual, bi sexual, heterosexual and whatever other sexual there is out there is a very tiny aspect of who you are, at least it should be. Your sexuality should not define you. There is more to life than living and functioning solely based on your sexuality.

What legacy are you going to leave behind?  What are your goals? What are your dreams? What are you passionate about?  What type of a person are you? What characteristics define you? These things  play a bigger role in one’s identity than sexuality alone. There are too many people trapped in the web of using sexuality to identify themselves.  Why do you need the acceptance of others? I wonder if it’s because you have a hard time accepting yourself  and sexual choices.  And if you can’t accept yourself, or the choices you’re making maybe you’re making the wrong choice and you’re not so sure about who you are.

The most important thing I have to share. God loves you just as you are in this very moment. He loves you  the homosexual, the transgender, the pan-sexual, the heterosexual or whatever else it you identify yourself as. He wants you to come as you are. He truly wants to have a relationship with you, and He sees you for who you are aside from your sexuality and gender identification. God will meet you where are you. He didn’t just die for the “normal” or what society thinks is normal and good He died for everybody.  He loves you, He loves you so much, and I hope that today You would encounter the love of God.  And guess what even if you don’t choose Him, or believe in Him He still loves you.

So I ask again, who are you?  Setting aside your sexuality, even your gender, you are most definitely human.  And being human means that you are made in the image of the living God, and He has a much bigger plan and purpose for your life outside of your sexuality.

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What the World Won’t Publicly Ackknowledge

This is off topic with what my blog is usually about but I felt a strong desire to share this with my readers.

The persecution of Christians is on the rise however, very few people want to acknowledge it  or seem to care. Acknowledging the persecution of Christians in the middle east and elsewhere, such as North Korea is not defaming other religions. In order to protect the integrity of one religion should we ignore the atrocities done in the name of that religion? Why should this be a touchy subject? Don’t Christian lives matter too?  And if they do why won’t the world acknowledge the blood of Christians that is being spilled across the middle East, Africa, and North  Korea? God Help us.

We are all human regardless of race, religion or gender. We are all made in the image of God. We all have value and we all have the right to live. The wonderful news  is that  no matter what you believe or don’t God still loves you, He still wants you and He accepts you.

I have linked some articles to bring awareness to the plight of Christians globally.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/jan/13/christians-flee-growing-persecution-africa-middle-easthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/martin-shapiro/where-is-the-world-christ_b_7545896.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/martin-shapiro/where-is-the-world-christ_b_7545896.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/martin-shapiro/where-is-the-world-christ_b_7545896.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/09/christian-persecution-sub-saharan-_n_6428520.html

http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/17/world/christian-persecution-2015/

Another Chance…..

Wouldn’t it be nice to be born again? To get a chance to have a fresh start and completely erase all the horrible things you’ve done and all the horrible things that have been done to you. I watched a movie about a girl that was physically abused by her mother. Because of that abuse she was a very damaged adult  that did pretty terrible things. Being overwhelmed by the guilt of the things she had done and unable to forget what had been done to her  she ended up committing suicide . She ended  her life with the hope that she would be born again and have a better life. I could never really understand the reasoning behind incarnation but after watching this film, I get it.

I too, have said many times that I want another chance, ” God give  me the chance to be born again, to live a different life, to make better choices.” I’ve said so in fits of anger, and pain, forgetting that as a Christian I have been born again.  That I too, will die and have a fresh start in heaven but not only in heaven here on earth as well.  Because Jesus died for me I am not shacked by the mistakes of my past, or of the pain inflicted upon me by others and myself. I am free. I may never forget what I have done or what was done to me but because I know I am free  I can choose to live a better life. I have hope in Christ that tomorrow will be better than today.

Sometimes life can be painful. Living itself, being human is painful. Maybe you want another chance but you don’t see a way out. Maybe, you’re too scared to stop what you’re doing and try something different.  Or maybe you feel like you deserve to suffer or be punished because of  the things you’ve done or things others have done to you.  What I want to say is this,”In Jesus Christ you have another chance, in fact because He loves you so much you have many chances. There is hope to live a better life and make a different choice, a better choice and you don’t need to be reincarnated for that.

In terms of sexual abuse or sexual activity it can feel like you’re forever marked or scarred by what has happened to you or by your choices.  It can feel like you’re stuck, stuck forever with the remnants of your past  forever stained and wounded on the inside. Because its your body, a body that you can’t change you may feel like in this life “I will never have another chance, because no amount of washing, or cutting, or starving, will ever make me clean again.”  But I’m here to tell myself and to tell you that in this life you can have another chance. Jesus sees you and in Him you are whole, He sees you and He wants you to come as you are.  At least, that is my hope, and my belief. Tomorrow will be better than today. Choose to be free.  God bless.

Image by Judy Prosser http://www.judyprosser.com.au/prints&cards/Prints/309.htm

God loves you

Good Morning,

I would be doing an injustice on this blog if I didn’t mention the love of God.  God loves you. He wants you. He understands you.  He wants to save you from your sin and your  suffering and give you peace. Perhaps by saying this I am reminding myself of the love God has for me.

I’ve been at the very bottom. Struggling since I can remember with self worth, struggling with abusing my body, and abusing my mind even today. Sin has had a strong hold but in Christ I know I am free.

How could God love a vile person such as me? Well,He just does. Jesus loves me and He loves you too. His love is free, you don’t have to earn it, you don’t have to starve yourself for it, or cut yourself, or be abused, you don’t need to be beautiful to get it, He just loves you and me.   Because Jesus suffered and died for my sins I do not have to have to punish myself, I do not have to be weighed down by guilt. In Jesus Christ I am free and you can be too.

We are looking for love. Looking for acceptance.  Some of us looking for riches, for fame. We all want validation. But that is the hunger and the thirst  that our souls have for God. We feel if we have love from a man it will satisfy our longings, ease the ache in our chest, and give us peace. But you can have a good man and still be uneasy ,still be discontent, still feel empty because no man will ever love you the way that God loves you and no man can give you what God can.

Men will leave you, they disappoint you but God has always been there. He’s been there even in those times when you have felt alone. The times you feel used, ugly, worthless, the times you clinged shamelessly to a person that doesn’t want you anymore. God has been there. He’s been there when you’ve cried into your pillow, when you have self- destructed. God has been there. He’s always been there because God is love and He loves you.

The best advice I would give to anyone struggling with life, with themselves, is to cry out to God. Cry to Jesus. He’s there no matter what you have done, are doing or where you are or where you have been.  He wants to love you and He accepts you . Only God can take the ugliness of our sin and make it into something beautiful. God Bless you.

Grace

I am not one to comment on “celebrity” stuff but in this case I felt compelled to.

By now I am sure that most people have read about the Joshua Duggar scandal. I read his letter of apology not only to his family but to his fellow Christians as well.  I would hope that as Christians we would all show this young man grace. This scandal is one of two that have followed the idealized Christian Duggar family.

Instead of seeing failure, shame and hypocrisy I see human beings. Christians are humans too, and like everyone else we sin. Like everyone else we struggle with sin. I have heard people condemn Josh Duggar, and question his salvation. Josh Duggar suffers from a human condition that we all suffer with, something innate in us from the day that we are born. Sin. The potential for sin is in all of us, Christian and non Christian alike. We all have the potential to steal, to lie, to be a glutton, to fornicate, to practice homosexuality, it is in us. For those of us who know better because of our parents or because God Himself has convicted us we must remember to show grace because it through grace that we have been saved.

I am a Christian. But for almost a decade of my life I struggled with sin. If you have read my blog you may know that I was involved in a casual sex lifestyle. I used to tell my partners about God. I was a hypocrite but hypocrisy is part of the human condition at one point or another we are all guilty of it. I prayed and prayed for years for God to help me because there were times I wanted to stop. I prayed and I prayed, I read my bible but I still fell back into sleeping around. My transformation was not overnight, it was not an instant fix. It was a long and arduous journey. It took time and I am still a work in progress. As the song says “Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me I once was lost but now am found was blind but now I see.” Only God can take someone like myself so broken, ugly and damaged by sin and transform me into someone whole, beautiful and complete in Him.

God can turn this situation around for Josh Duggar. God can use him as a vessel to testify and to help other men that struggle with infidelity and pornography. This ugly situation can be transformed and that is our hope in God. I hope in a God that makes the impossible possible. I hope in a God that came to save the likes of me a very sick woman, that of Josh Duggar and countless of others.
If God can take the apostle Paul, a man who persecuted Christians and turn him into a stalwart of the faith, just imagine what God can do for you. With this post Christian or not I hope that in your life you will practice showing others grace.

“What can wash away my sin,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus,
What can make me whole again,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus,
Oh precious is the flow that makes me white as snow, Oh,
No other fount I know, Nothing but the blood of Jesus.”

Robert Lowry

Deconstructing the Myth: True Love Waits

If true love waits then my boyfriend of 7 years must not love me. If true love waits then my co worker who married her live in boyfriend must not really be loved. If true love waits then my manager who lived with her husband for years before tying the knot, will surely end up divorced because her husband does not truly love her. If true love waits then I should just forget about love because when it comes to sex I have a hard time saying no. If true love waits then you are saying that there is only way to love a woman which is by abstaining from sex. I guess youre saying that your way of loving is better than mine.  But then again you sound no better than the guy  that bullies me into having sex because he wants me to prove my love for him , you’re just trying to scare me into doing what you want by calling it true love.

I hate to burst your bubble but waiting until marriage does not make your husband love you anymore or any less than the next woman like myself who gave it up the first time she met her husband to be. Waiting until marriage does not mean that you will have years of marital bliss ahead of you. And if you are wondering why, sex is not the reason why my boyfriend and I have not tied the knot yet, having sex before marriage is not the reason those other couples broke up, and by practicing your chastity it won’t be the reason why you and your husband stay married or not.

If I believed this half truth, scare tactic, purity mantra, then I would have stayed believing that I was incapable of  being loved, that my relationships were never going to last all because of sex. Those three words made me second guess love that was given freely to me, those 3 words made me insecure about my relationships with men, those three words enslaved me, for years believing that the only way a man could show his love for me was by not having sex with me until I was married. But I have experienced freedom, knowing that I can have sex outside of marriage and be loved, that I can have sex while married and be loved.

I dont have a daughter, but I am a daughter, and “ True love waits” did not prevent me from having sex. And when I had sex and realized I could be loved, I felt deceived.

The motivation behind abstaining from sex should not be the expectation of receiving “true love,” and the motivation behind having sex whether it be casual sex, or sex in a relationship should not be love. Sex or lack there of does not guarantee love.

Authors Note: True love waits has nothing to do with being a Christian. God never said to experience love you must wait to be married. Sex outside of marriage is a sin, that is what is stated in the Bible. Honoring God should be the driving force to wait to have sex, not true love from a man.

Casual Sex Brought me Closer To God

Some people might find this offensive but it is my truth. When I was younger I looked down on promiscuous girls, I heard about them in my middle school classroom. I saw the girls bully some of them and I thought that because they were having sex outside of marriage that they deserved to be bullied. I may have been a dork but at least I wasn’t a whore, and I was going to heaven. I can laugh now at the thoughts of that 13 year old child. Isn’t it human nature to want to feel that we possess something that makes us better than the next person? At this point I did not understand God, I did not understand grace or mercy. I paid no attention to scripture I was going through the motions of Christianity.

Then the switch went off the fragmented memory of what happened to me when I was 9. I started acting out. I was starving myself and jumping out windows. I became one of the girls I made fun of. I was teased and bullied by some girls who thought they were doing their due diligence of reprimanding my promiscuous ways. I still went to church with my parents but I secretly started hating other Christians because of their false sense of holiness. Their obsession with purity disgusted me, your vagina being intact has nothing to do with your relationship with God. I believed in God, I prayed, I told all the boys I had sex with about God but why couldn’t I stop having sex? Did God love me less? Had He forsaken me during this time of promiscuity?

I struggled to keep my head above spiritual water. I was that lost sheep. I strayed many times and I relapsed often. My sexual experiences were getting more and more extreme. Every time I fell back into sexual sin, every time I cut myself excessively  this verse condemned me “Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.” Mathew 14:45.  I had lost hope in myself. I had almost lost hope in God, can this God satisfy me? Did Jesus really die for me in all my sin?

Then I read the story of the woman at well, and I thought to myself I am her. I am that woman at the well searching for water that will last forever but I have been looking in all the wrong places. I was able to receive God’s grace and appreciate His mercifulness. Despite the judgment of men who could only see the superficial side of my actions God saw my heart. He saw the hurt, the pain  that fueled my sin, and He saw my heart, a heart that was crying out to Him.

Because of living a life steeped in sexual sin I am able to relate to more easily to others. I am able to offer love and a listening ear before I throw judgements at  others especially when it comes to sexual sin. I know that my words cannot convict a person of their sin only God can.

My God used someone as broken as me to help other women like myself. If God can love a woman such as myself He can love you too. He wants you. He calls the weary and burdened to come to Him. If you are tired of your lifestyle, tired of escorting, stripping, sleeping around, tired or relationships why not give God a try?