I do everything backwards and in no order especially when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex. My boyfriend of almost 7 years saw my half naked pictures before we met as did everyone on myspace,( this was back in 2008 when myspace was a thing). He said hello to my bright green thong before he got a chance to say hello to me, and we introduced private parts before we had our first date. I was lonely and bored in a new state, our meeting was just supposed to be a casual encounter, I never thought that one night of sluttiness would turn into 6 years of love and happiness.
I grew up in a Christian home. I was taught that sex before marriage is a sin, one of the worst sins because it is a sin against the body. Despite what I knew about sex I ended up having a lot of it with a lot of people. I was the “good time” girl, I was easy, the slut, I was often accused of changing boys as regularly as I changed my underwear. By Christians and non christians I was persecuted because of my promiscuity. Isn’t what I do with what’s between my legs my business? The girls treated me like I was a disease, I was often the subject of name calling and bullying. The guys however flocked to me like moths to light, they protected me from the girls who often threatened to beat me up, they skipped school with me when I needed to escape,some even tried to save me from my sluttiness by offering me a relationship, but I refused.
For me, being slutty was just too much fun. It was my escape from reality, sex could be so mind numbing and that was exactly what I wanted. I was shallow, appeared to be cold hearted and unattached so casual sex seemed like the right fit for me. A lot of my friends told me I would make a good prostitute because I never got attached to any of the numerous guys I slept with. I was accused by male and female alike of having no feelings, and not being “human.” In my book Casual Sex is for the Shallow I explain why being shallow and unattached when engaging in casual sex is the best method. I treated guys like monkey bars, I held onto one while moving onto another. Being a slut was easy for me, it required very little physical,mental and emotional effort. By sleeping around I would not have to deal with the “relationship doom” that was often loomed over my head. Because of my many sexcapades, and my revealing attire I was told the same mantra over and over and over again, “No one would be able to love a slut like me, the only reason any man would have a relationship with me would be for sex, and as long as I have sex with men I would never get married.” Why have a relationship if all that was ahead of me was heartbreak,rejection, and loneliness?
But then one night I saw his profile on myspace. It was his smile, it was warm, he was so handsome, and out of all the friend requests and messages from random guys I chose to reach out to the guy with the handsome smile. When he met me at 18 I was a slut. I didn’t know what to do with a guy besides have sex. I did not know what to talk about besides sex and my appearance. I could not comprehend that he could like me for more than my appearance, I could not understand why he would want to be around me without having sex. And when he said that he hated to hear my “whore- rror” stories, was when it hit me that my choice of sleeping around before I met him and during the breaks in our relationship not only affected me but affected him as well.
I used to cry in his chest out of regret from my past choices. And I wondered if I hadn’t been a slut would I have met such a wonderful man? If I had not been trolling for men on myspace that night would I have met him? It was my sluttiness that brought us together and I love him all the more for accepting me for who I am and looking past my sexual history.
Despite what people may say, whether you are promiscuous, an escort, a stripper or a porn star there is someone out there who will love you. Sleeping around does not sentence you to a life of loneliness and disparity. For the women out there that do things backwards like me, here’s to sluttiness, to love and to happiness.
Author’s note: I am not promoting casual sex or promiscuity, I’m simply sharing my story hoping to encourage women that no matter what your sex life there exists hope, love and happiness.