Stopped Having Casual Sex, now what?

For me casual sex was a lifestyle. From my teens to my early twenties I could not shake the habit, it was like smoking, or drinking. Casual sex for me was habitual. For almost a decade I engaged in a casual sex lifestyle, and then I stopped, and I thought to myself now what?

First of all stopping was not easy, truthfully it was lonely. Not that casual sex isn’t lonely because it is, but for those few minutes, hours or whatever you’re not.  When you are involved in the casual sex lifestyle you have multiple partners simultaneously, there is not time to focus on loneliness.

I stopped sleeping around and realized that I had to stop communicating with all the guys I had casual sex with. To me, many were not worth contacting and saying “goodbye to”. I was not going to send a text, or email, or call. I’m 99.99999 percent sure that none would have cared whether they heard from me or not, the only thing they would contact me for would have  been for  sex and after almost 8 years of sleeping around I was tired of it.

I needed real friends. I only had one or two girlfriends and I know now the importance of a sisterhood. I needed female companionship, a safe community of women that I could talk to and rely on for support and advice.

Finding a hobby was essential after I stopped having casual sex. A hobby is important because it helps occupy the mind, and is a great distraction from the loneliness that does occur after you stop communicating with men you have had casual sex with.

In my earlier posts I state that habitual casual sex is a symptom of a deeper problem, for me it was a string of problems one compounded by the other. I needed to find something to fill the emptiness in my soul, the ache in my chest, the yearning for someone else, and that person was Jesus.  I found hope in Him. In Him I found the strength to break away from that lifestyle. Sex had a hold on me but God was able to set me free.

I started this blog to help women of all races, religions and backgrounds. I offer hope not only to those who believe in God but to those who don’t. If you are struggling casual sex, there is help and there is hope for  you. I tried and failed for 8 long years but one day I was finally able to walk away form that lifestyle. Casual sex can ,and does become a lifestyle.

Lastly, many times because of my past sexaul history, I felt obliged to have sex especially with the same partners. Or I felt  because I did it with everyone else, what’s one more? You have the power to stop. You have the power to say no. Sex is not a chore, it’s not something that you have to do. Sex does not define you or your worth. You are so much more than what you do with what’s between your legs.


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