The Cycle of Casual Sex and Sexual Rejection

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Anytime you have sex with a man, you are sharing  yourself with that man. You cannot erase the memory of his penis from your vagina, and you cannot take back the bodily fluids that you shared with him. With casual sex, no strings attached doesn’t exist. Imagine if you had a one night stand with some random guy and two months later you saw him at your job or in your class, you both share the knowledge that you had sex. Now, having sex with him may not mean anything to him or to you, but the simple fact that you both introduced your private parts to each other is a string enough.

How does one get stuck in the cycle of casual sex and  sexual rejection?

Sexual rejection is usually what sends women flying, panties down into casual sex.  I will use myself as example and maybe some of you…

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Its Okay

Having Casual Sex and getting attached does not make you unintelligent or immature it just makes you human. I dont believe in slut shaming. I don’t believe in insulting a woman based on the way she has sex. I don’t believe in telling women to suppress their emotions. It is okay to make mistakes especially with your sexuality, granted some are more permanent than others. What I give you here on this blog is real life experience you wont find it written in a text book, its something that can’t be taught. I am not ashamed of my past, of feeling rejected at times, of feeling like I had pussy power, of using sex as a tool,  or of being vain and shallow about sex . It’s all okay. For the women that have casual sex and feel worthless or used Ive been there to0, and that’s normal. Just know that you already have worth within yourself and that you were not used you made a choice. Its okay to feel, to cry,  to get depressed over a guy you had casual sex with, it IS normal and  its part of being human.Trust me you will get over it, thats a promise :).

The Morning After Sex

In this blog I told the truth in a very raw way because I wanted to emphasize the shallowness of casual sex. With casual sex the man is not compelled to care or empathize with your “physical imperfections” because there is no emotional connection that would make your flaws beautiful in his eyes.He doesn’t care about your insecurities, he only cares for himself. In this piece I ask the questions if you never hear back from any of the guys you have casual sex with what does that say about your worth? Are you lacking something? These are real questions that women ask themselves and I address them in this piece.

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That moment when you wake up tangled in foreign sheets in an unfamiliar bed pressed up against a cold wall next to a guy you hardly know, is always awkward. The morning after casualsex is always awkward. Do you stay and wait for him to wake up? Or do you leave without disturbing him? Should you turn the light on to try and find your panties, or do you let him find them so if you haven’t heard from him after a week, then you have a reason to call him? Should you wait a week? Is that too long?

So, you decide to leave without waking him, but he opens one eye lazily, says bye and throws the covers back over his head. What’s even worse than the awkward silence of lying next to a stranger, and trying not move is seeing him a week later…

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Casual Sex

Sexpectations89

 Casual sex does not exist.

A foreign penis in your vagina is not casual. Swapping bacteria from a stranger’s mouth is not casual. Seeing someone naked before you know his last name is not casual.

 Sex is the farthest thing from casual. It is far from superficial, even though it might appear that way. The physical aspect is just one part of sex, the obvious part, but there is an emotional side to it as well. It requires sharing a part of yourself with someone else.

A penis is like a needle that pierces through the emotional walls kept deep inside of you. It can be the hand that caresses your soul or it can become your painful prison.  The penis can be the thing that makes you forget about your boring reality, or that dick can take you on a power trip. Be it, what it may…

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Why I Wrote Casual Sex Is For the Shallow

I wrote this guide because I found myself surrounded by broken hearted women and if I wasn’t surrounded by them my sister was, or my friends were. So many women hurt over sex, and what some man did to them; wanting, yearning, going crazy almost in an attempt to understand why, why not them? Why did this man choose to treat them this way and not someone else? Why had they had three or more sexual partners and no relationship? Why was he ignoring them? Why couldn’t they get over him?
In today’s society women are saturated with the shallow woman’s superficial story. Hollywood makes it look so easy: this beautiful woman has a one night stand and the guy ends up marrying her. Or she’s sleeping around with multiple partners and she has no emotional, relational or psychological issues. I wanted to use examples of women engaging in casual sex that are not represented because casual sex often times does not have a fairy tale ending. 

For some women this is real life. Theses are questions they are faced with daily. How do they answer these question?  The best thing is education, having a conversation about casual sex. Not every woman understands that casual sex is casual sex, some don’t know the meaning of  casual sex. If a woman feels rejected after a one night stand, or her friend with benefits end their arrangement and she feels hurt does that make her immature and unintelligent? No, its normal especially as a woman to experience emotional attachments especially when engaging in c sex of any kind, it  is normal to feel rejected . Having emotions and getting attached is part of being human and being able to express them in a healthy way is normal.

Women need something that will protect their minds as well as their bodies and my book is is. Happy Reading!