Sexrape is a term often searched on my blog. First of all I would like to say that it saddens me that many women and men do not know the difference between consensual sex and rape. Does sexrape exist? Is there a grey area between sex and rape? I believe that sexrape is a mental state. In my opinion it is either sex or rape not both. Rape is a serious act that should not be pandered with. But maybe admitting that you have been raped is too painful of a realization, or maybe you are man who has raped a woman and you don’t want to admit that you are now a rapist.
I’ve had sex when I did not want to, but I never said no, or stop, I suffered through it but that does not count as rape because I never said no. Maybe if I had said no, I would not have been punished by an ugly penis.
I’ve been pressured into having sex. I did not want to do it but because the guy kept begging me I gave in. That does not count as rape either.
“Sexrape” maybe is a place where a lot of women have been mentally. There are times when I have engaged in sex and inside I have screamed no, but instead moans of pleasure came out my mouth. This is obviously a situation of the disconnectedness between the mind and the body. It is a very confusing place to be. I had disgust for the guy that I had sex with and I was upset at myself because I never spoke up. It was rape in my mind, but sex with my body?? Is there such a thing? Do a lot of women have sex when they really don’t want to?
Is casual sex the breeding ground for sexrape? Should it matter that I’m agreeing to “consensual sex” but in my mind what I’m doing feels far from consensual? Is there really a grey area between sex and rape?
Sexrape is not just limited to casual sex, it can happen with a boyfriend or spouse, but the great news about this grey area between sex and rape is that it is avoidable.
It is okay to say no to sex, even if he drove 20 miles just to see you because you agreed to have sex with him over the phone. It is okay to change your mind, in fact it is your right…You don’t owe any man sex whether it be your husband, boyfriend, friend, booty call, sugar daddy or whomever , you always have the option of saying no. And if you say no and he physically insists, then its rape.