Patronizing Casual Sex

The one thing I can do for women as a woman’s advocate and as a lover of women is be honest with them about their situation especially when it comes to casual sex. I do not call myself an expert on casual sex for no reason. Unfortunately, I have had years of experience, and I have seen first hand the emotional  repercussions of casual sex. I have been on both ends of the casual sex lifestyle, I was at one point the girl that was rejected after having casual sex and I was the woman that men wanted to have a relationship with after having casual sex. I know all about no strings attached, I worked with a man that produced porn and was a pimp, I’ve talked the producers of porn, I know all about the mass production of sexuality. I am going over my credentials because when I give honest advice about casual sex, it might come off as callous, insensitive and unattached but that is what casual sex is all about.

I read a post on Thought Catalog about a 25 year old woman that posted an add on Craigslist to lose her virginity. The name of the post was I lost my virginity to a stranger on Craigslist at 25My sensible advice to this woman was to “pull up her panties and move on,” and I was called insensitive, which of course baffled me. This woman did not just fall on to this man’s penis, she wanted to lose her virginity in a casual way and she did. Her experience was everything that a casual sex encounter should be but she was disappointed. Of course her experience was unromantic and detached, why? Because she posted an add on Craigslist soliciting unattached casual sex.

The truth is casual sex often disappoints. In her post she mentioned that she was able to get an orgasm, but she was still unsatisfied. I am not going to patronize her and say “poor you,” because I do not see a reason to. Was being a virgin really that bad? Casual sex is a choice. This is a woman in her mid twenties, it’s not like she is a teenager, or this guy promised her love or satisfaction beyond belief, she got what she advertised for. Casual sex is not a magical dance that will make detached, shallow, and meaningless sex more that what it should be.

I have a message of hope for this woman. This is not the be it and end all of her life, and there were worst things she could have been than a virgin, in fact she put herself in a worse situation. My message of hope is that I was used, abused, then I abused myself. The worst thing you can do is hurt yourself, and victimize yourself. I was told that I would be a prostitute, and end up dying from an STD and I made it.The bad choices I made and the ill treatment of my vagina did not and does not define the person I am today. So yes, its okay for this woman to be sad and cry, but it could have been a lot worse. And all we can do as women is pull up our panties and move on, that’s the reality of casual sex.

Advice: As a woman when it comes to casual sex you are not allowed to have expectations, because expectations do not belong in casual sex.Having expectations in casual sex will only lead to disappointment like this woman from the post on Thought Catalog.

2 thoughts on “Patronizing Casual Sex”

  1. Exactly. Unfortunately though people, women more so than men engage in casual sex with the expectation of getting a relationship, or feeling loved, or something other than what a casual encounter offers. Thanks for commenting 🙂 It is appreciated.

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