What is Casual Sex?


I keep reading about  this Gold star sticker sex.  The author states that,” “It’s to emphasize that every day, women in their twenties have meaningful, intimate, sober, relationship-enhancing sex that is also (gasp!) casual.”  I am totally and utterly confused behind the logic behind her argument.It’s not rational and it does not make sense. She mentions words such as intimate, and meaningful, and I would ask her how is that casual? What is casual about intimacy?  How can something casual have meaning? Relationship enhancing? I’m not so sure about, but does it change the relationship? Of course. By her emphasis alone I can tell that she is not describing casual sex. I am grateful that she mentions that she is not giving out advice, because if she was, this would be very bad advice. Gold star sticker sex should coming with a warning label.

What is casual sex?

  • Casual sex is shallow
  • Casual sex lacks depth, emotion, and commitment
  • Casual sex is selfish
  • Casual sex is self-centered

It’s that simple. Not complicated. No meaning behind it, it’s just sex.

When you, as a woman engage in casual sex it should not be to reward your friend,or any random man, it should be to reward yourself. She talks about rewarding her guy friends with sex, it’s her seal of approval.  This woman is blatantly telling the world “I am having sex to please the man, reward the man,and I must have super pussy powers because sex with me is a reward.”   I would say to the woman who is considering casual sex,or trying out gold star sticker sex  that this is real life,this is not Sex and the City,  Grey’s Anatomy or a soap opera.

I wonder if her husband was a man that she had gold star sticker sex with? How many gold stars did she have to give out until she met her husband? And if gold star sticker sex was so enhancing, and meaningful, then why did she get married?  (She got married two years after having this “rewarding, meaningful, intimate sex”), if it was so great, then why stop?

This woman had what she thinks is casual sex, fine. Her truth is not my truth and that is fine too. But I have a strong feeling that she is not being 100 percent honest about all of her experiences with her gold star sticker sex. In my opinion she is not being honest about her intentions behind having casual sex. Clearly, she is giving sex to get intimacy. She obviously didn’t want to settle for just moments of fleeting intimacy because she got married.

What she is describing sounds like open relationships, and from that I can see that she wanted a relationship, and the fact that she is married well, that speaks for itself. Maybe she was afraid of commitment? but I don’t think that’s the case. Or maybe she was afraid of rejection?  She describes wanting all the facets of a monogamous relationship with these men, the intimacy, the meaningfulness, but she doesn’t ask for a commitment. Friends with benefits seems like the easy way to get all the emotional gooiness of a relationship without the fear of rejection, but often times someone does get rejected.

Gold star sticker sex proves that there is nothing casual about sex. She mentions being best friends with the men that she has slept with and giggling over the sex they have had, and I wonder how comfortable her husband is with this? Weird??  Yes.

Having sex to reward someone is an action done with intent, therefore, there is nothing casual about gold star sticker sex and sex in general. It’s sad that this woman has reduced herself to nothing more than what she has between her legs and I would tell her that she in her entirety is a reward not just her vagina.  

Do you really want to have gold star sticker sex? Is sex and false feelings of intimacy what you really want?

You, the woman, in your entirety, not your vagina, not your sex, you the person as a whole is the reward.

How am I  sure that I, a woman,am  precious? Because the Creator of the Universe said so.

3 thoughts on “What is Casual Sex?”

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