Casual Sex, Panty Etiquette, and Self-Worth

When I was a teenager I thought  my self- worth jumped out of my bedroom window along with me. I thought I lost it along with  favorite my panty that night. I noticed when they fell out of the van but I was too ashamed to pick them up. Knowingly, leaving behind your panty is poor panty etiquette. It’s not cute, and you have just wasted your hard earned money on a panty you will never see again. I have never heard of a man forgetting his boxers, or briefs so the next time you decide to have casual sex, remember to take your panty with you.  Because my panty kissed the pavement only three blocks away from where I lived, I had the pleasure of passing by them day after day. They looked pitiful discarded on the side of the road, wet, dirty, discolored and run-over, kind of like how I felt back then. With each passing day the appearance of my  panty got worse, and finally, one day it was gone.

I knew then that my panty would be forever lost to me. I knew then that I would never be able to erase the impression of his penis from my vagina and I thought then that  my self-worth was gone. I often felt the pang of regret as I walked passed the same spot my panty used to lay.

As time went on, I realized that it wasn’t the panty that I missed so much. It was the events of that night that caused me grief. I wanted to take back what I thought I lost that night. I thought I lost my self-worth somewhere in that van, or maybe the guy I was with that night took it with him. Maybe it was in his pockets? Or hidden underneath his bed? Wherever my worth was I needed to get it back.

It took me five years or longer to realize that my worth never left me. Self-worth is not a tangible object like money, or clothes, that can be lost, it is an intangible trait that all humans share. All people have worth, all women have worth. The longer you go without believing that you have value, the longer it will take for you to recognize that you do have self- worth.

The strippers, the prostitutes,the escorts, the promiscuous girls at your job or in your classroom, the porn stars, all have worth.

What helped me understand I already had Worth.

Even after I got closure from the guy who made me feel like I was nothing, even after the only guy who ever saw me in my entirety said that he loved me, I still felt worthless. I even etched the word worthless into my skin, (that topic will be discussed in another post). I opened my Bible one day and I read that this man named Jesus died for me. This Jesus could love even me. That was how I came to understand that I had worth. I won’t force my beliefs down your throat, however way you want to find it,  no matter what you believe or don’t believe, whether you are what some christians define as “pure” or not  WOMAN YOU HAVE WORTH.

My Challenge to You.

You’ve tried men, sex, drugs, the works and you’re still not satisfied. Why not give God a try?

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