We are broken. And we take our brokenness and damage other people with it, especially the ones that we love. Our jagged, fractured pieces ripple outward damaging, and ruining everything and everyone around us. In the end we all end up broken, our pieces swept in a dark corner. And all you feel is the pain, more pain, pain and more pain.
Frantically we try to put the pieces back into place, but it seems the more we try to fix those shattered pieces of ourselves the smaller those pieces get.
How am I supposed to love another broken, fragmented person? How am I supposed to cope when I never learned how to? How can I love myself when I all I see is the destruction I have caused? I see destruction written all over my body. My words are explosive, destroying the people around me. Shattering the people I don’t to want break. Why can’t I just self -destruct? Pain. It hurts. My heart hurts. Why can’t I accept your love? Why can’t I love myself? Why do I cry endlessly without ceasing over you?
Love is yelling, love is screaming, love is breaking, and love is pain. Loving you hurts me. So I break you. I break you with my words. I shatter you into smaller pieces. I crush you to bits. Then I cry because I want you to put us back together again. Put me back together again. Fix me. Help me. Mend me. Make me whole again. Repair what was damaged from so long ago. I am your mess because I can’t deal with myself. Erase the destruction; And in doing so we break into tiny pieces all over again.
The human condition without Christ is a broken mess. We are born broken. And we get fractured along the way. Some of us are smashed to bits by the time we reach adulthood. And we cry huddled over in dark spaces. We sob endlessly; asking the walls for help to take this ache away. Ultimately we are hopeless broken pieces trying to make ourselves whole. We are self-destructive by nature. Hopeless. Defeated. Damaged and doomed for destruction. But in our brokenness we feel the endorphins surge so we damage ourselves even more. More and more, more and more damage until we can’t put ourselves back together. We are broken.
But in Christ we have hope, a hope to be whole and made new again. And that is my hope for you. Healing for us.