Drunk Casual Sex? Rape? Alcohol

I read an article in the New York Times about rape and alcohol. The author is basically saying that by “focusing” on the fact that the victim is drunk is shifting the blame from the perpetrator to the victim. No one wants to shift the blame from the rapist but mentioning that because she was drunk she found herself in a more vulnerable situation is helpful information that can be used in a preventative way to help other women avoid putting themselves in that similar situation. Here is the link to the article http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2013/10/23/young-women-drinking-and-rape/in-discussing-rape-prevention-dont-shift-the-focus-from-men.

This is a discussion that needs to be had.As women, physically we are the more vulnerable sex. Drinking alcohol makes us even more vulnerable, especially when it comes to rape. I admit that there are times in my life where I have gotten drunk and came to riding a penis, and wondering how I got there? How I got undressed, I don’t remember, but what I do remember is someone’s penis in my vagina and it was not violent. I was not screaming, I was just in a blur.  Some would call that rape, but I don’t. I don’t call it rape partly because the guy was intoxicated too, maybe not as intoxicated as I was but he had a fair share of alcohol in him. Do I persecute this guy who was almost as drunk as I was? What if he thought I knew that he was initiating sex because even if I don’t remember I did?  Was it drunken casual sex or rape? Did he take advantage of me if he was drunk too? The truth is when two people are drunk it makes this a very delicate situation. Ladies this is a situation that you do not want to find yourself in.

Its rape when the woman is unconscious and the guy is taking advantage of her current state. This situation above is preventable ( unless someone spiked your drink). Knowledge is power, and as a woman knowing that getting drunk in certain situations is not safe, and can lead to a man raping her, or preying on her is beneficial advice. When a person is drunk they lose sense of their inhibitions. I’ve done it and I’ve witnessed other women doing it too. You loosen up, you start dancing a little more suggestive, your breasts are exposed and you don’t care, you flash your panties a few times, and that’s all fine and dandy but that puts  you at a higher risk for getting raped.As long as men have penises as woman there is a risk of getting raped.

There are men just waiting to prey on a drunk woman, lurking in the corner like predator searching for the woman that is the most impaired. It’s sad,and disgusting but it’s true. I remember meeting these rappers at a hotel with a friend of mine. I was tipsy and they could tell, my panties were showing and I was oblivious to that fact until a friend pointed it out to me. Like vultures circling a dead carcass these rapper guys tried coaxing me to their hotel room, thank God for a good friend that refused to let me go alone, and saw my vulnerable state.It happens at the bar you’re really drunk and some guy tries draggin you away but hopefully you are surrounded by a group of friends that know you’re drunk and will not let you go off without them.

As a woman it is not safe, nor is it smart to get drunk to the point of passing out in a public place away from friends or a safety net. These men that prey on women are looking for the injured, broken, isolated and impaired because they are easy to prey on.

Our teenage young women need to know that getting drunk with a group of teenage boys and or men at a party or elsewhere is not safe nor is it legal. Steubenville, Maryville and more tragic stories like these of young girls under the influence of alcohol getting raped is becoming an epidemic.  Why are all of these teenage girls getting drunk and raped? Who is supplying these children with the alcohol? Who is teaching these young men that they need to get a girl drunk and take advantage of her? This society is raising a bunch of rapists. We have to teach our daughters prevention, because teaching boys not to rape just is not enough. 

Remember that being raped does not define who you are or what you can be.

2 thoughts on “Drunk Casual Sex? Rape? Alcohol

  1. Pingback: Patronizing Casual Sex | Sexpectations89

  2. Pingback: 7 never-to-do things when you're drunk | infofilic

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